First and Last Muddy Swamper Newsletter

WELCOME!!!!

This is the first edition of the Muddy Swamper Newsletter! This publication will be a quarterly newsletter for the Muddy Swamper Club. You are probably asking yourself….
What in the F*%# is the Muddy Swamper Club? Well…. Let me tell you. The Muddy Swamper Club is an organization of good old boys that have a few things in common. Unlike the Dukes of Hazzard, these good old boys don’t drive a bright orange Dodge with a big number “01” painted on the side. These good old boys drink a lot of beer, they like four-wheelers, they like to play in mud, and most importantly (for the sakes of this newsletter) they like to go to the cabin. Yes, this is the cabin’s newsletter. We all know what I am talking about now. You know… the good old 339. The place where we have all been f*%#ed-up-silly drunk on at least one occasion. On more than one occasion for some of us… but we won’t mention any names.
As I mentioned earlier, this is a quarterly newsletter. Its purpose is to let everybody know what the f*%# is going on at the cabin. So, what the f*%#, let’s jump right into it.

NEW NEWS, OLD NEWS, JUST F*%#ING NEWS:

CONCERNS:

1. The taxes need to be paid by October 4th.
2. The cabin looks like a dump.
3. The fence is missing a rail… because some drunk sat on it and broke it. Again… no names will be mentioned.
4. Those f*%#ing Scouts are an eye-sore. Only to those who don’t own one.
5. The back porch is falling in.
6. The cabin needs a new roof.
7. The T.V. doesn’t work.
8. The roaches will be eating pork & beans for the next f*%#ing year.

Those are all of the “CONCERNS” that I can think of right now. If you have any concerns of your own, please send them to the address at the end of the newsletter and they will be added to the next publication for everyone to see.

IDEAS:

1. We need to fix the stuff that is broke.
2. We need to spend a little time getting the place cleaned up.
3. We need to have another f*%#ing party.




ACTIONS:

1. I already paid the taxes…. The bill was $183.44. Please divide this number by four and send your payment to Joe Merto. He would greatly appreciate your contribution.
2. Master Blaster has been paying the power bill for several months. Nobody has any idea what they owe him.
3. Somebody fixed the mailbox. James gives a big “OH YEAL!!!!” to that person or persons.

Those are all of the actions and ideas that I can think of for now. The same thing goes for these two subjects as did for the “CONCERNS” subject. If you have anything to say… send it to the address below and it WILL be put into the next newsletter.

BONUS MATERIAL:

This is the section of the newsletter where members of the Muddy Swamper Club share there philosophy’s on life, love, and just about anything else that they can think of.

Since this is the first edition of the Muddy Swamper Newsletter it is only fitting that we have a little Q&A session that will, hopefully, answer a few of the myths that have been growing throughout the history of the cabin. So here goes.

Q: Is the cabin haunted by the ghost of Dewayne?
A: Oh, the cabin IS haunted…. But not by Dewayne.

Q: Was Snowball ever pulled out of the mud behind the cabin?
A: Yes it was freed from the muck… but most people still say that it just sunk